In Britain today there is lots of chatter about sexuality. One of our best loved presenters has come out as gay despite having been married for 27 years.
Phillip Scofield is a national treasure and is often on our screens. People are surprised and don’t understand how you can be married for 27 years and have children and then come out as gay. The problem is they are looking at it from the wrong perspective. It’s more a question of why couldn’t he be who he was meant to be from the start.
Those of us that grew up under the governments section 28 which banned the “promotion of homosexuality “ will understand the fear of finding ourselves attracted to someone of the same sex. Society told us it was wrong. The government told us it was wrong. The church said it was wrong. In fact, for men, it was illegal till 1967 and after then it had a higher consent age than for heterosexuals. Homophobia was the norm in schools and workplaces. Coming out was a big deal and LGBTI people risked being shunned by their families and friends.
On top of the toxic section 28 we also had a problem with HIV and AIDS tearing through the gay community alongside others like drug users and those who received contaminated blood products. However the gay community was singled out as being the worst of the bunch and narrow minded bigots would say it was the wrath of God who was punishing the “fags” like what happened in Soddom and Gomera.
When it’s put like that, why would anyone come out? To do so meant risking so much. It’s this pressure that becomes internalised homophobia and forces people like Phillip Scofield to comply with societies norm. Many LGBTI people marry because they feel they have no alternative. It’s just what’s expected that you get married and have children.
I have always maintained that heterosexuality is not the norm it’s just more common.
Sadly if you are LGBTI, and have tried to be heterosexual, eventually you will struggle to live something you’re not. Even if you love the person you’ve married very deeply, you still feel empty inside. You feel the pain of not living your truth. One of the tragedies of this situation is that some people become so unhappy because of the rejection they feel that they take their own lives.
I think the Church in general but particularly the Church of England that I’m a member of should hang it’s head in shame for its part in contributing to a society where homophobia is tolerated. Only recently we had the awful statement from the Bishops which basically said sex was only the preserve of married heterosexuals. This, quite rightly, caused uproar and then a few apologies were forthcoming. What I find so distressing about the institution and those who prop it up is that they spend all their time being consumed by sex and genital acts and they never mention love at all. For me though, love is central to the Christian message, in fact all the world religions have love at their core. Why can’t we learn to live in love and celebrate our differences and leave sex to the consenting adults that wish to practice it. It’s time for the church to take the verse from the bible to heart “be still and know that I am God.” Another way of putting it is “let go and know that I am God” The Church Universal needs to let go of its obsession with sex and start living more in love and light. That’s what our world needs right now, not a few outdated people pontificating often from a position they have no knowledge of.
I think Phillip Scofield was brave to come out because he is such a public figure. I think his wife is brave as well, as are his daughters for being alongside him in this and for continuing to share the love and support and respect they have for each other. I hope people leave them alone as they heal from any hurt and allow more light and love in their lives.
As a priest in the Church of England I also want to apologise for the hurt and pain caused to LGBTI people and their allies. I want to apologise for the rejection experienced by same sex couples who would love to get married in church but can’t because of the church rules. I also want to apologise for the fact that, if asked, I could bless a spider, snake or cat. I can also bless a tank that is involved in killing and maiming people but I can’t bless a same sex couples union. I want to apologise for all those who have been forced out of churches or into the now banned conversion therapies. It’s no wonder the shortest verse in the bible is “Jesus wept” Most Christians have no problem at all with same sex relationships. Sadly there are a few people who have closed minds but very open mouths. They say they speak for the Christian voice. They certainly don’t speak for me or as I say the vast majority. Please don’t judge God by the action of these insecure bigoted people.
This week something significant happened. An ordinary man, who is much loved, has forced people to look at their own homophobia. Phillip I applaud your courage and respect how you and your family are dealing with this challenging and painful yet liberating time. I applaud you for your decision to come out and will be holding you and your family in the light.
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