During my wanderings on NICU I met a family who had just
had their first baby. She was born to term but they knew there was some sort of
problem but they didn’t know what. The family weren’t religious but we got on
well and I was able to be alongside them as they got the devastating news that
their baby was terminally ill and wouldn’t live a year. It was a very sad time.
This couple were people who planned things and thought them through. This
wasn’t part of their plans and it threw them into turmoil.
The baby made it to 4 months, which was a miracle in some
respects. Some of the staff had got very close to the baby and her parents. It
was a very sad time. I was asked to take the funeral. I found it quite
difficult to plan a funeral which was non religious yet honoured my beliefs
too.
It’s amazing how often I get asked by non religious people
to do things that are significant for them. It shows the importance of human
contact and just being there for people. The family and the staff were very
appreciative of the service. The parents liked the fact that I knew the baby,
and so it felt right to them for me to take the service, even though I had
pointed them in the direction of the humanist society.
It’s hard in this pluralist society to keep hold of the
things that are important and not have a watered down version of everything. I
feel I achieve this balance, but sometimes it’s a fine line. One thing I am
sure of is that I am able to witness to what I believe through the way I live
my life and carryout my role in a way that is extremely effective.
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