Early one crisp and cold February morning I was called at home to say that a patient had died suddenly and the family needed something. When I arrived the wife and one son were standing around in the corridor while the patient was being made presentable by the nursing staff. The wife had a vague C of E background the son was more spiritual than religious. They were also waiting for another son to arrive from Oxford. I was told this son was very religious and part of the anglo-catholic tradition.
While I was chatting to them they were asking lots of questions and wanted to know where would be a good church to have the service. The patient was a popular man so there would be a large congregation. I felt they were very earnest about getting it right and doing the right thing by this patient. I spent several hours talking to them about all the options. During this time the patient was moved to the mortuary.
When the other son arrived I did a ceremony with them in which I tried to encompass all their varying beliefs. This meant it needed to be traditional as well as liberal as well as spiritual. I can’t even remember exactly what I did now but I know the family were pleased as I received a lovely thank you card and a letter saying how helpful they found what I had done.
The tricky part for me in doing these multi-faceted rituals is not to lose sight of what I believe. I need to be always respectful of what other people believe but I also have to maintain my own integrity. So far this hasn’t been a problem.
No comments:
Post a Comment