"Oh you're a woman"

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It seems I had a knack as a hospital chaplain of challenging stereotypes. Another man that wouldn’t ordinarily be paired with me came into my work life at this time. I was bleeped early in the evening. When I arrived the man said "Oh you are a woman" I complimented him on his powers of observation with a twinkle in my. I offered to find him a male priest if he preferred. I think because I was a little bit cheeky he decided to stick with me.

He was a real mans man. He was ex navy and had done some espionage work. He was fairly traditional in his views and there he was confronted by this pro woman woman. He wife had had several strokes and he had been her main carer for a number of years. He was very gentle with her and did all her care. It was wonderful to see such love and devotion.

He chatted to me about life in the navy and all the other clerics he had ever known. He told me that he used to go to church but all the places round him were “happy clappy” I asked him if he wanted me to find him a more traditional church. He was really pleased with this offer. I put him in contact with the local church and got the vicar to go round. He liked what he saw and started going to the church.

Everytime he was in the hospital he would bleep me and say "It's the voice fancy a hot chocolate?" He always insisted on buying the coffee and sitting me down before him and all that old fashioned stuff but we had some great conversations.

I hope he finds all that helpful when his wife finally dies. He and his wife are often around the hospital due to his wife’s many admissions. At these times he talks to me about how he’ll never forgive God if anything ever happens to his wife. I try to talk to him about death coming to all of us and that he and his wife have more life behind them than in front of them. He seems to be in complete denial about this though and won’t face his wife’s death. As they are in their mid 80’s I guess he is going to have to face it one day in the not too distant future, unless of course he goes first.