Living with hope in the shadow of adversity

Another family that I picked up in my wanderings around ICU were the relatives of a very handsome 25 year old. As I got to know them they gradually talked to me about the horrible situation they were in. The young man had been out with his girlfriend and was having a nice meal in a restaurant. Suddenly he just collapsed into the table. When the emergency services arrived they were able to resuscitate him and now the family were waiting to find out why this young fit man’s heart suddenly stopped beating and also they were waiting to know when he would wake up.

Unfortunately the news wasn’t good when it came. It seems this patient had a hereditary heart defect and that’s why his heart stopped. If detected something could have been done. This patient didn’t know his dad so there was no family history to make him suspicious. His mum had died from cancer when he was a teenager and his aunt had looked after him since then. When his heart suddenly stopped that night in the restaurant his brain had been starved of oxygen and this had caused irreversible brain damage. He was now going to be in a persistent vegetative state for the rest of his life.

My heart went out to this family. They continued to lovingly surround him with visitors that massaged his feet and groomed him. They always had music going and read to him and chattered about all sorts of things. Every now and then I would find one of them crying in the corridor and I would spend some time with them.

I was left wondering what would have happened if someone had known how to do CPR in that restaurant. Would the outcome have been different? As I used to work for St John Ambulance and taught CPR I guess I’ve always known the importance of that skill. This poor family were also left with these questions and his girlfriend, who was with him that night, carried the most guilt.

Coincidently I was reading a book at the time about a mum who looked after her son after he had an awful brain injury while he was abroad on his gap year. It was a powerful story of living with hope in the face of adversity. The day they moved the patient to a specialist hospital I left the book for the family with a message of hope inscribed in the front. The essence of the Christian message is about hope and light. No one really knows what happens when a person remains trapped in their own bodies. Yet another situation and family that I had to give into God’s loving care.