In London it’s been a beautiful warm and sunny day. I arrived at the hospital in good time for a CT scan of my sinuses. That all went really smoothly.
After I had finished there, I went round to blood tests as I also had a haematology clinic appointment. There were 25 people in front of me. Half way through the waiting time, endoscopy rang to say could I get to them sooner as they had had some cancellations? I dashed (as much as I can dash, lol) to clinic and explained I couldn’t see them but could they write me a prescription and keep an eye on my blood results. They said they would.
I then headed to endoscopy. That all went fairly smoothly too, initially. The general anaesthetic was administered and I was looking forward to it being over and a nice cuppa and some biscuits.
I came round still in the endoscopy theatre. I had a hard plastic tube still in my throat. I tried to raise my arms but couldn’t move. I tried to open my eyes and let them know I was awake and struggling with the tube but I couldn’t open them. The anaesthetist gave me some more medication, I think she called it reversal. Then she took the tube out. At that point panic set in. I couldn’t breathe. I was gasping for breath and couldn’t swallow. I have never been so frightened. I just could not catch my breath. All the machines started alarming. They had to get suction and oxygen and more medication. The anaesthetist said it can happen with short anaesthetics. She was reassuring but it was still hard not panicking during the short period of not being able to breathe. I don’t know if it was due to all the fluid that had built up or a bronchial spasm or what. It’s certainly not something I want to go through again. It was petrifying. Good job I’m fairly level headed. It was bad enough to have caused PTSD if you are a worrier. I’ll talk to them in clinic when I’m next in and see what caused it.
I woke up very quickly and had my tea and biscuits. Weirdly my tastebuds seem to have been affected by the procedure. I couldn’t taste the sugar and my mouth was completely dried out so eating biscuits was like trying to chew cardboard.
I asked if I could get dressed and I was out of the unit 45 minutes after coming round to recovery.
The weird feeling in my mouth has continued tonight. It’s been hard to eat because I just don’t have any saliva so the food doesn’t break down and that’s with lots of fluid. Let’s hope tomorrow is better.
I’m very glad to have made it back home and to now be comfortably lounging in my bed. I have a working PEG J and my Hickman Line is working too. Long may it all last so I don’t have to go through the trauma of many more procedures.
Thank you to all you lovely people who have been praying for me and sending me positive vibes and love. It helps to read your messages as I slowly get back on my feet again.
I have ECP for the next two days. The weekend will be lovely though when I have the honour to preside over the blessing of my cousin Laura’s wedding. I’m also looking forward to celebrating 25 years of women’s ministry with a service at Southwark Cathedral in the great company of Wendy Saunders and Paula Gooder. Looking forward to some decent theology as well as continued friendship and collegiality.
Some days you are just made up by the fact that, despite the odds, you are still breathing.
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