Wednesday 1 January 2014

The art of listening and absorbing



During the next week of my work as a hospital chaplain I was to meet 3 women who made an impact on me. 

The first was a woman I had met a year before. She’d been diagnosed with leukaemia and was having chemotherapy. She told me that she’d been well following the chemo and had a fairly good year. Unfortunately a routine blood test showed that the leukaemia was back. She was having more chemo and was to have a bone marrow transplant. It wasn’t a complete match but it was her best chance. As she told me this she started to cry. She said that she didn’t know what it was about me but whenever she sees me she cries. I told her that I took it as a compliment that she felt safe enough to let go with me.   

She talked through her fears of being ill and dependant. She also talked about living in the uncertainty of not knowing whether she would live or die. She talked through her frustrations of not being able to do the ordinary things in life, like shopping and tidying her place. She told me about feeling stressed that she had nothing in for Christmas. It just all tumbled out of her and I just sat and absorbed it. She was by nature a very private person. Normally I would hug a person who was telling me all this, or at least hold their hand. This was not something that would have helped this patient, so it was just an absorption job. This is still extremely effective for the patient because it’s like you carry away from them what they’ve confided and they feel lighter for it.

I said prayers with the patient before I left and handed over all we’d talked about to God. As I was getting ready to go the patient’s husband arrived. She gave him a big smile and he said how much better she looked. I left the room knowing my job was done for that day.

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