Rebel Rev is distraught

I’m pleased to say that since being home I’ve very much enjoyed sleeping in my own bed and also appreciated some home cooked food.

I feel as weak as a kitten and somewhat frail. That will pass. At least I am blessed with a warrior spirit.

I am back at Kings for haematology on Tues and then Guys Tues and Weds for extra ECP. Fingers crossed things show they continue to improve.

Today I’ve been trying to pack away the Christmas decorations.  I was taken in to hospital before 12th night, so they were still up when I was admitted. It’s taken me all day to slowly put things in their boxes. It’s so good to be able to do it, even if it is painfully slow.

Despite my brave front there is a bit of me that is broken hearted just now. I am not in the habit of losing things, especially expensive things. As regular readers will know I was devastated to lose one of my hearing aids while in hospital. Since then I’ve discovered my wedding ring has also vanished. I have no recollection of it being on my finger in the hospital or not. I only take it off sometimes when putting cream on. There is a possibility it fell off with the extra weight loss. That would be strange though because of the unusual style of the ring.

I have methodically gone through everything I brought back from the hospital and searched all the bags and clothes pockets. It’s no where to be seen. I’m now checking my bedroom at home in case I didn’t put it on the day I was admitted.

I know I got really ill and lost a couple of days and was really unaware of my surroundings but the thought of losing something so precious to me is almost too much to bear. I know it’s just a ring and it can be replaced but it’s the one I’ve worn since our partnership and so has that sentimental attachment.

I went to bed early last night because I was feeling sad. I put some crap TV on to try and distract me. Some images came up of Sydney Australia. It made me cry because I so badly wanted to talk to Marlene and be comforted by her. She was the only person I ever let fuss over me. She could always make me feel better. Life can be so unfair. My loss is heavens gain. At least I know I always have an angel on my shoulder.

On a positive note, the amazing fund raising that Lyn and Richard set up is still astounding me. If I don’t find my ring I will have enough, once my new glasses are paid for, to travel to Ireland and have a new ring made. The ring originally came from Kenmare and is based on the Ring of Kerry.

In the meantime please keep praying to St Anthony and St Jude if you’re the praying sort. If not send some positive vibes for a successful search and find mission.