I’ve had take away every night apart from today when my lovely little sis cooked me a roast. Only two more nights to go. Shh don’t tell any one but I have some lovely banoffee pie for breakfast. Thanks sis!
As I’ve been trying to do more for myself, I’ve noticed how debilitated and disabled that I really am. If I forget something upstairs, it’s been down to me to get it. What I’ve noticed is I can’t climb the stairs twice in quick succession. If I do I get very breathless and clammy. It’s not a nice feeling. I guess I might be anaemic again.
I’ve also got a lot more aches and pains in my muscles and joints. I don’t know why. My shoulders, hips, wrists and ankles all feel really stiff and sore. My calf muscles feel like they may cramp at any minute and I get shin splints regularly from doing NOTHING!
My stomach is also quite painful. It can be excruciating. I’m very stoical but even I can’t always mask how painful it is. It’s like my tummy goes into spasm and cramp. It makes me feel so sick.
My skin has also been really itchy lately. I’m also bruising easily and getting little cuts and tears if I knock myself. This seems to be related to steroid use as well as GvHD. The skin inside my mouth and on my throat is also sore and at times bloodied and blistered.
I’ve got a headache too today. That’s probably what’s tipped the balance. I feel pretty ropey. I don’t know why things are so hard just now. I’ve got clinic on Tuesday and hopefully may get some answers as to why I feel so rough. In the meantime I will continue to grit my teeth and take a few more painkillers to keep me moving.
Despite all of this I’m still engaging in the campaign to try and halt the forced academisation of my grandchildren’s school. We should never be silent about the important things in life. Having a life limiting illness often gives me a unique perspective that I value.
Balance in all things is so important. It’s vital that we all find the things that give us life and energy even when we are ill. I really enjoyed the women’s football today and the Women’s World Cup in general. It was so lovely to watch the match with my little sis Gail Thompson. It made me fondly remember all the times she just toe punted the ball in whatever direction she was facing. Lol. She had no idea of tactics and didn’t want to be tackled so just got rid of the ball straight away.
I was a different kettle of fish. I would eat, sleep, breathe football. In my first match for Millwall Lionesses, I scored twice. I also played for Charlton. Sadly from the 70-90s, when I was playing, women’s football was not as widely accepted. It was very rare to see it on TV and we were confined to play on Hackney Marshes or Clapham Common or places like that. These days the women get to play in proper grounds. I’m so pleased the game has been recognised for what it is now and this generation of women are able to make a living from the game, if they are good enough.
I’m blessed to have had so many rich and life affirming experiences in my life. I know I will also have more enriching experiences before I shuffle off this planet. That thought helps me get through the difficult days and nights where everything hurts. I hope you are able to direct your thoughts to nice things that give you comfort too.
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