The heat of the summer was upon us as well as the excitement of the football world cup. I was called out one night during an England match. I wasn’t too happy about that but that’s the problem of being on call. The young woman I was called to suffers from cystic fibrosis. An awful disease which limits life expectancy to around 30 years. This young woman was a teenager and had just found out that her mum may have cancer. She was completely overwhelmed with emotion and fear. What I found interesting about that encounter is the reason for the young woman’s distress. Most of us expect our parents to die before us. It’s the “natural order” of things. In this situation the patient expected she would die before her parents. She wanted me to bargain with God on her behalf. She said she was prepared to die sooner in order for her mum to survive. It was a very tricky situation. The young woman needed me to be honest with her and yet give her some hope.
She wanted to go to the chapel. Once there I placed 3 chairs around a little table. We sat down and I lit a candle as I prayed for her mum and her life energy represented by the flame. I gave the patient a candle and asked her to say her own prayer but also to imagine what her mum might be praying if she was here and that I wanted her to imagine her mum sitting in the empty chair. She became tearful. I said her mum wouldn’t want to take away any of her precious life in a bargain ‘cause loving parents didn’t do that. I then prayed that darkness can’t overwhelm the light of even one small candle and that this darkness wouldn’t overwhelm her. Other prayers were said and candles lit for other family members.
The patient said she felt better and went back to the ward.
A year later I’m still in regular contact with the young woman. Her mum did have cancer and has been successfully treated. Not dismissing that teenager that night has lead to a long and fruitful relationship that has helped her though some really tough times.
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